Today is Day Eight of “The Respect Dare” and we are challenged to remember the strengths our husbands had that drew us to them and were reason enough to marry them.

“And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in real knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve the things that are excellent, in order to be sincere and blameless until the day of Christ; having been filled with the fruit of righteousness which comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.
” ~ Philippians 1:9-11 NASB

Well, I have a little challenge with this challenge. Jason and I got married when I was 16, our oldest son was already 8 months old, and neither of us had a saving relationship with Jesus Christ. We’ve come a long way in the last nearly three decades. So, I am instead going to base my the answers to the questions on the time we reconciled after we both got saved in 1989.

My other challenge today is that I feel like I failed at respect yesterday. I lost my tongue and my attitude with my husband between cleaning up after dinner and before bed. I realized it right away and tried to turn it around, but by that time, the damage was already done.

I asked something of him and he failed to do it the way I saw it needed to be done. Now, this is really a common issue with this task and I was frustrated, so I spoke sharply and was disrespectful. I had been handling this task completely differently for many weeks to avoid this very struggle, but was unable to yesterday due to crazy busyness. I would have been better keeping my mouth shut. The issue wasn’t such a big deal that it even warranted my frustration. I let circumstances affect how I chose to respond to my husband and instantly felt the consequences.

Have you experienced similar? How did you resolve things? I did try to say I was sorry, but It didn’t seem to soothe my heart. So, I stayed up a little later than normal to spend some quiet time alone with Jesus to cry on His shoulder and be reminded that a temporary slip is not a permanent destruction. Ladies, the devil wants you to believe that you fail at this and can never get this respect thing. But, I know that we can do all things through Christ! So, I’m on a mission to start again today.

Now, for today’s dare! Five positive attributes or strengths that my man held way back then that were reason enough to fight for restoration of our marriage:

  • Responsible – he knew that he needed structure and leadership that he couldn’t walk away from, so he had enlisted in active duty military before we even knew I was pregnant with our first son. He served his time in the military honorably and was working his hiney off to provide for his children while we were separated.
  • skilled with music – he had a love for great music and was an amazing guitarist. I’ve always loved watching him play.
  • loved his children – we had two young children at this time and he would have done anything for them.
  • good morals – he has always had a very strong sense of right and wrong (even before giving his life to Christ). Black is black and white is white. He loved Christ and wanted to to be sure I knew how much Christ loved me.
  • passionate – he has always been an unselfish lover and friend. He feels strongly and deeply about things.

Now, have you made your list? Take time to look for examples of where your husband still holds those strengths today. How have they grown and matured? What new ones do you see?

Are you communicating appreciation of these strengths to your husband? Don’t you love being appreciated? Take time to do the same for your man today.

Jesus, I admit that I am nothing without you. I have stumbled along in life before lost and without hope. Thank you for being the hope that I still need today. Thank you for forgiving me each time I stumble and feel like I’ve failed. Help me to keep my eyes on the fact that you’ve already won the war and I just need to keep looking to you.

I continue to pray that you would help me to grow in the respect of my husband. Show me where I need more work and also where I am doing a good job. I want my life to be a fragrant offering to You.

Please guide my steps today and help me to do all tasks as unto You.

In Jesus’ Name… Amen!

If you are just joining us, I am doing “The Respect Dare” 40 day challenge along with the ladies at Unbroken Woman and others.

I pray each of you have a great day and also make sure you are visiting The Unbroken Woman to enter to win gifts and be entered to win the Kindle Fire. Check out the following two links specifically:

I Dare You!


What to Expect When You Are Respecting: The Respect Dare Bible Study

Also, please check out the author’s blog at


Unbroken Woman

Peaceful Wife

Forgiven Wife

Broken But Not Forgotten

Marriage Is Your First Ministry

Feel free to email me if you have any questions or private prayer requests.

Godspeed… ~ Tiffani

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One thought on “The Respect Dare – Day 8

  1. April says:

    Thank you for being transparent and honest!!!! It took me way over 2 years to feel like I had a clue what it meant to respect my husband and how to stop all the disrespect. And I was studying and praying about it for HOURS every day almost.

    You will make mistakes. That is going to have to be ok. We stumble and then get back up, determined to honor Christ. We learn from our mistakes. We will not be perfect, especially in the beginning.

    It is similar to learning a new foreign language. In time, you will become fluent. But it is not instantaneous. And it requires God’s power to be able to do this stuff! NONE of us can do it on our own.

    I sure can’t!

    Thank you for sharing your heart and your story. Much love to you!

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