Today is Day Thirty-eight of “The Respect Dare” and we are discussing initiating sexual intimacy with our husbands.
“You’ve had a taste of God. Now, like infants at the breast, drink deep of God’s pure kindness. Then you’ll grow up mature and whole in God.” ~ 1 Peter 2:2-3 MSG
This challenge really is a challenge for me. Sex is painful most of the time for me. I’m not talking a little pain. I’m talking excruciating tear inducing pain! This is a result of complications from my hysterectomy 5 years ago. Because of this, my body physically cannot handle sexual stimulation more than once a week. I am grateful that the Lord has brought us this much healing. It used to be that it hurt every.single.time, could not enjoy at all, and spent days in agony afterward. To be able to enjoy, even if I do have some pain during or (even better) afterward, is a GREAT improvement from how things were before the last surgery three years ago. We have exhausted the specialists and anything further that “might” help would be more likely to cause more damage and has no guarantee of even helping.
Getting myself into better physical shape is the only thing that is left that I can do to try to help this. Carrying extra weight causes strain on my core, which adds to the pain issues. So, I am getting re-acquainted with the elliptical machine, being more active daily, and eating better. I am also working on some core training exercises.
Being healthy physically is an important part of keeping your intimacy protected. But, being healthy spiritually and emotionally are also important. I am still working on overcoming past mind sets that say initiation is HIS responsibility. That would be extremely unfair to my poor husband.
Planning our time together has been a priority for me. I try to keep my schedule clear after time with my hubby so that I can rest and recover more quickly. I also try to keep myself from being overburdened before our scheduled time so that I am not already physically struggling.
What I need to do more of is scheduling times of just ministering to him sexually so that his needs are met even when I am unable to have intercourse. But, I fully admit to struggling with selfishness in this area. It sucks that he can enjoy and yet I am stuck with all this pain. I am still a work in progress.
Nina says, “Initiating sex communicates respect in a unique and special way to our husbands. When our husbands feel desired by us, their esteem is built, thus enabling them to fully and confidently engage in their roles as men.”
Ladies, this is very true. When my husband is secure in my desire for him, he feels able to take on the world. It is such a simple and yet powerful encouragement.
Lord, please forgive me for being a selfish lover. I know how much this area would be a blessing for my marriage and yet I still struggle. Please soften my heart and break my selfishness. Let me be a joy and a blessing to my man in every area. And, thank you for the healing that you have provided.
In Jesus’ Name… Amen!
If you are just joining us, I am doing “The Respect Dare” 40 day challenge along with the ladies at Unbroken Woman and others.
I pray each of you have a great day and also make sure you are visiting The Unbroken Woman to enter to win gifts and be entered to win the Kindle Fire. Check out the following two links specifically:
Also, please check out the author’s blog at http://ninaroesner.com
DAY 38 STUDY LEADERS’ LINKS
Broken But Not Forgotten
Feel free to email me if you have any questions or private prayer requests.
Godspeed… ~ Tiffani