Today is Day Ten of “The Respect Dare” and we are challenged even further in our listening and communication skills.
“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” ~ Luke 6:37 NIV
Today’s challenge is another area that the Lord has already actively been working through with me. I am a very strong-willed, strong-minded and capable woman. That is how I was raised. I have watched my mom make sure that my daddy and most any other man knows how to do things right (her way) for decades. She has told me in the past that she grew up feeling like she was less of a person somehow because God made her a woman instead of a man. So, she has felt the need to prove that she is better than any man. The Lord has brought my mom a long way over the years, and I am so blessed to be able to watch her flourish as she grows in her most recent close walk with the Lord.
It is also an area that I still struggle in. But, the Lord has truly changed my perspective and I rejoice to have the opportunity to watch my man shine and grow while I step back out of the way. However, I still struggle at times with offering too much opinion or advice.
Over the years, I have watched my husband go from a confident young man who would tackle almost anything to a man who often questions his capabilities and therefor doesn’t act for fear of failure. Perhaps it was more because we had no money to be able to afford things to be done by others. But, I really think that a lot of it is due to my lack of respect and constant questioning of his efforts.
Ladies, I have been working on guarding my tongue for well over a year now specifically. While I know I have a long way to go, I can still testify of the amazing joy I have in being able to be my husband’s biggest cheerleader and encourager. I am taking more time to just actively listen and less time offering my own opinion or advice.
Just a couple of weeks ago, we needed to make arrangements to pick up our oldest son’s RV and park it in our front parking area on the farm. But, there was a horse trailer in that spot and it had been raining a lot recently. I had concerns and opinions on where and how it should be moved that I wanted to discuss with my husband. So, I started to tell him what I was thinking. However, he had already been thinking of these things and had a plan to get it all done and didn’t let me finish what I had been trying to share. I felt my own flesh rising up and desperately tried to squash it, but didn’t manage to do it gracefully or without consequences. I wasn’t upset that he had a different way to do things… my feelings were hurt because he had cut me off. But, I distinctly felt the Lord tell me that my husband was a fully capable man and was more than able to handle this without my “help” and that God was able to handle any issues that came up because he hadn’t heard my concerns. In the end, I was able to express confidence to my husband that I trusted him to be able to do whatever needed to do and step out of the way.
“Some of us have become people no one listens to because we are always offering suggestions, criticism, or judgment. We think we are helping, but what we are communicating is an attitude of superiority over the other person. ~ The Respect Dare, Nina Roesner” OUCH! Lord, forgive me!
Is it really any wonder we have a world of men who won’t step up and be courageous men who are willing to die for us when we are constantly showing them that we are better and they aren’t good enough?
Precious Jesus, I am even more humbled by today’s dare and determined to put fresh efforts into respecting my husband more fully. Please help me to see where I need to just listen and not offer any advice.
I also know that this doesn’t just apply to my relationship with my husband. Please place a guard at my tongue and a check in my spirit when I am speaking with others and tempted to make the same mistake of trying to “help” when I should just be listening and praying.
Father, please show each of the ladies doing this study with me how they may need to deal with this area in their own lives. I pray that each of us would honor you more fully in how we serve and support the men in our lives. Help us to build them up and encourage them in You.
Lord, give us fresh wisdom and understanding as we serve You today!
In Jesus’ Name… Amen!
If you are just joining us, I am doing “The Respect Dare” 40 day challenge along with the ladies at Unbroken Woman and others.
I pray each of you have a great day and also make sure you are visiting The Unbroken Woman to enter to win gifts and be entered to win the Kindle Fire. Check out the following two links specifically:
Also, please check out the author’s blog at http://ninaroesner.com
DAY 10 STUDY LEADERS’ LINKS
Marriage Is Your First Ministry
Feel free to email me if you have any questions or private prayer requests.
Godspeed… ~ Tiffani