Does your wife struggle with her body image? Does she continually compare herself to the world’s standards of beauty and find herself coming up short? When you call her “beautiful”, does she retort with “yeah, right!”, “you’re blind!”, or something similar?
Chances are probably pretty good that you and I each view our own wives as incredibly beautiful, babe-like, hot, etc… and we have a hard time understanding why they are so down upon themselves.
Society and the media have created an extremely warped view of what “beauty” is, and we’ve been trained since birth to buy into that view. It really IS all about sex – and not at all about true beauty, which is God-ordained.
My wife and I recently read through a few books that addressed this topic (as well as others), and she has begun to have an awakening of sorts. She has realized that even though she’s been a Christian since 1990, she has carried these wrong beliefs all her life. But changing that heart and mindset is (as I’m now realizing) NOT an easy thing for our wives. Men, they NEED our encouragement as they go through this time of change. (Proverbs 18:21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit.) Our wives desperately need to hear us say to them –
“YOU ARE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN THE WORLD!”
And guys – WE NEED TO MEAN IT! When you say this, it needs to come straight from your heart as a real COMPLIMENT, directed at the woman of your dreams – YOUR wife! We do NOT want to flatter our wives. The definition of ‘flattery’ is “excessive, insincere praise”. To carry that one step further, the definition of ‘insincere’ is “not honest in the expression of actual feeling; hypocritical”. I doubt that any Christian man would want to knowingly be dishonest and/or hypocritical with his wife. Let truth rule the day! (James 3:4-5 Look at the ships also, though they are so great and are driven by strong winds, are still directed by a very small rudder wherever the inclination of the pilot desires. So also the tongue is a small part of the body, and yet it boasts of great things. See how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire!)
So here’s a little light-hearted advice for those of you who might be wondering how to help your wife with this particular struggle…
For several months, I’ve been making comments towards my beloved wife as “the most beautiful woman in the world”, just getting that thought into her head and heart over and over again. I recently purchased a 16″x60″ mirror from Home Depot at the relatively cheap price of $24.99. I hung it on our bathroom door, then took my wife over to stand in front of it. I leaned in over her shoulder and pointed, saying “This is a photograph of the worlds’ most beautiful woman. Every time you get down about yourself, I want you to stand in front of it and ask God to make you look more and more like HER every day!” Of course, she giggled and laughed about it, BUT… she’s admitted to me several times since then that while I’m at work, she’s done exactly that. And God IS changing her perception about what constitutes “beauty”! She said she’s felt the Lord telling her that her husband sees NONE of the supposed “imperfections”, extra pounds, and age lines that seem overwhelming to her. God has told her that she needs to begin to see herself as HE does, and that her husband was long ago on-board with that. (Genesis 2:25 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.)
Gentlemen, our wives need our help to begin to understand God’s standard of beauty. She needs to know that we see her with our Father’s eyes. Will you commit this year to tell your wife that SHE is the most beautiful woman on earth?
More importantly, will you mean it? She WILL know the difference!
Other Scripture References:
1 Timothy 2:9-10 Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments, but rather by means of good works, as is proper for women making a claim to godliness.
Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.
Proverbs 6:24-26 To keep you from the evil woman, From the smooth tongue of the adulteress. Do not desire her beauty in your heart, Nor let her capture you with her eyelids. For on account of a harlot one is reduced to a loaf of bread, And an adulteress hunts for the precious life.
Your Brother In Christ,
UPDATE 04/20/2017: Part Two of this article appears here: Revisiting The Most Beautiful Woman
Here are links to some great RELATED articles by fellow bloggers:
Forgiven Wife – Beautiful?
(I originally posted this article at AwesomeHusbands.org on 01/12/2012)