17 thoughts on “Tell Us Your Story!

  1. marcie says:

    thank you for your daily encouragments. i have been married for almost 18 years. my husband and i met in high school and have been together for 24 years. we have 4 beautiful children. i have always thought we had a good marriage. but was fooled into trusting what the world calls normal. in the last few months our relationship has been rocked by an emotional roller coaster. i want to blame it all on facebook, but i know that at least on my part, it was because of my own selfishness. we both have allowed “friendships” to come into our marriage and trust has been broken and anger and resentment has replaced love and affection. the Lord has been showing me the vital importance of putting my relationship with HIM first. i have never been one to doubt my husbands love, but now i find myself struggling with fear of losing him to someone else. i find great comfort in reading alll the marriage tips and scriptures that i have know for so many years but have failed to implement them in my own marriage. i have faith the God will restore us and revive us. i see huge things happening in my own life and also in his as a direct result to my obedience to God’s will. everyday is a battle, but i find myself on my kness constantly praying for strength and guidance. i know my husband loves me, but i want him to once again be in love with me. re is reluctant to pray with me and read with me, but im not giving up. i share many of the scriptures you post from the beautiful “song of solomon”. he is slowly coming around, but i also know that it has to be according to the Lords timing and not mine. sometimes i wish i could go back and make better decisions in regards to my marriage but know that is not even an option. i do praise Jesus for the work He is doing in me now. for i know that without the trials and sufferings i would still be the selfish, unloving wife i was for so many years. i pray that the Lord will continue to use your posts to touch many marriages, but especially mine. thanks for your faithfulness!

    1. Jason says:

      Hi Marcie,

      Thank you for being bold enough to tell your story. It certainly sounds like you two have been through some rough times recently.

      The first thing I might recommend for you BOTH is to seriously consider trimming your Facebook friend lists down to the bare minimum. It almost goes without saying that those with whom you and/or your husband have been “more than friends” really need to go – NOW. And they need to stay gone, for life. Be rude if you have to. When trust has been broken, the ONLY way to begin rebuilding trust in your marriage is to cut off ALL contact with the third party. Even to the point of changing jobs, or moving your family if necessary.

      I realize that our own story is not yet posted on this site, but in time it will be. For the moment, if you’d like to see what we’ve gone through in our almost 25 year history, take a look here. http://tinyurl.com/74575z6

      We are living proof that what you are going through does not have to be the death sentence for your marriage. But you both must commit your hearts to Jesus, and ask HIM to walk with you through it. You must also be committed to making your marriage ALL that the Lord has in His heart for it to be. I’ve heard it said a lot lately that the best sometimes comes after the worst. Tiffani and I can definitely say Amen to that.

      We will pray for you Marcie. The Lord’s heart is ALWAYS reconciliation. His Word says in Malachi 2:16:

      “For I hate divorce,” says the LORD, the God of Israel, “and him who covers his garment with wrong,” says the LORD of hosts. “So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.”

      Do you have a good fellowship of believers where you can go and be accountable? Do you have a Pastor whom you can speak with, and involve in your rebuilding process? We are not looking for you to answer these questions to us… but moreso to give you things to think about as you figure out what will help you and your husband the best.

      In Christ,
      Jason

      1. marcie says:

        thank you for taking the time to respond. i have closed my facebook and cut all ties to anyone who might come between me and my husband. he has done the same by cutting all ties as well. i did it as a testamony of my commitment towards him and our marriage. i pray that those were his motives as well. we have begun the long process of healing. i will say this, if it wasnt for the Lord “exposing” my sin, i would still be in a place of selfish living. for so many years my husband has wanted to lead me and for so many years i was head strong and always managed to put up a wall. i would sit with him and read the word, but my heart wasnt in it. he pursued after me but then grew weary and stoped. soon our marriage became a routine. with 4 kids, school. sports, and (yes) ministry, we fell into a routine. even when we were alone, we just didnt “fit”. as i look back i can see the slow gradual decline and neglect on both our parts. i am so embarassed to admit that fact, and yet so releived that we serve a God of second chances. its so irronic how the tables have turned. because of this whole situation, the Lord has opened my eyes like never before. maybe its because i felt i had everything to lose. maybe its because i was desperate. maybe it was because i had the rug pulled out from under my very feet and landed flat on my face. on my face, before the Lord! either way, i have been humbled by my sin. i find myself in my bible, reading and praying for change. praying that the Lord would remove my selfish ways, and give me a new heart. i look for christian encouragement and thats how i came across your twitter account. i have never been one to journal, but for the last several weeks i have almost filled 2 notebooks with my prayers, my cries, my broken heart. i am trying to be sensitive to my husbands feelings and to be patient too. two things i have never done before. we were both in the wrong with our actions, with our “friendships”… i feel so guitly about everything. i feel like it was my “friendship” that pushed him into an ungoldy “friendship”. with all the damage that has been done, and all the hurt, i am trying to keep my eyes on Jesus. I have asked my husband to read with me and pray with me. he is reluctant to do so. i have stoped asking because i dont want him to feel like i am nagging. so i do it on my own, faithfully every night, i spend time in my word and journal all my thoughts and prayers. i make sure that it doesnt take away from our time together so that he doesnt get bitter. sadly i feel like i am doing all this 18 years to late. i want to ask him so many questions but the Lord keeps showing me that i have to look ahead and not back. i must forgive and let Him work on my husbands heart. i will say that because of all this, many things have changed for the good, and even for the better. i now can love him completley and unconditionally. i guess its the doubt that he may still desire his “friendship” and not me. but again, i know its up to the Lord to deal with him just like he has dealt with me. its a slow process and i am willing to be patient and to fight for our marriage every day. thank you again for your prayes! please dont stop!
        marcie

  2. Rena Gunther says:

    About six months ago my marriage hit a really hard place. It was completely unexpected {although I’d been praying for freedom, specifically, for my husband in areas such as finances and his, then, job} and I was thrown for a loop. However, I’ve watched God answer my prayers by bringing freedom in ways I didn’t know needed. I’m still trusted Him to complete the work He’s started. {Not that it will ever be complete this side of glory. 😉 }

    My husband and I are closer now than ever before in our nearly fourteen years of marriage. It’s been a battle but He is faithful, as always.

    We need sites like yours! We need to hear from Godly men. Our husbands need the encouragement and we, as wives, need perspective from a Godly male on how we can step it up.

  3. Jason says:

    Hi Rena,

    It is GOOD to hear that you and your husband are very close now, after some struggles. Tiffani and I are ALL about marriages getting better! 😉 We also know that our God answers prayer. The Psalmist wrote in Psalm 51:17 “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; A broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise.” As we go before God in humbleness, realizing that we don’t deserve any of His great goodness, our heavenly Daddy – who loves us beyond what any of us can fathom – wants to bless us… to comfort us in our heartbreak, to pick us up when we’ve fallen.

    I do hope that we can be an encouragement to both you and your husband, so please let him know that he too is quite welcome to drop in anytime.

    In Christ,
    Jason

  4. Carrie Starr says:

    I’ve been married to my best friend for 18 years. We work together, play together, fight together, pray for each other, parent together, stretch each other, encourage each other, offend one another, forgive one another and love one another. I’m one very blessed girl!

    1. Jason says:

      That is a WONDERFUL marriage story! You included all the stuff needed for a well-rounded relationship! 😉 My favorites are praying for and forgiving each other!

      Thanks for dropping in! We pray your marriage continues to be blessed for a LIFETIME!

  5. Mal Davis says:

    This is awesome what you are doing! Our stories are often times encouragement for others! Please find my story here:
    shefinallywrites.tumblr.com

  6. Okay. It was never easy for me. I was born a poor black child…

    LOL! I was also born with a sense of humor that almost NO ONE understood as they didn’t realize it was sarcasm and tongue-in-cheek plays on words. One of the first things I noticed about my Dear Hubby was that not only did he GET my sense of humor, he played along and we whetted each other like a sword to the grindstone. A man with intelligence like that…piqued my interest!!

    Just before the turn of the new millennium, my husband (at the time) was acting really odd. He was working longer hours, barely spending any time with me, wouldn’t look me in the eye, and had nothing but vitriol to spit at me. I had suspected “something was going on” for a long time, but he kept turning it back on me and telling me I was crazy or had jealousy issues. Then one day, a VERY expensive hotel sent me an envelope. Inside was an intimate that wasn’t mine, and a note that said, “Mrs. when you were here last week you left this in your room.” I was stunned–we had never been to that hotel together; it was “too expensive.” But we had done some computer work for them once, so using that as an excuse, I went to the hotel, looked at the register and saw “Mr. and Mrs. ” and saw security footage of my husband and the woman I suspected entering at night…and leaving the next morning all lovey dovey!!

    I got a copy of the security tape, a photo copy of the register, a copy of the note, and the intimate–drove over to his office–dropped the copies of my proof on his desk–and then slapped him so hard I broke his glasses. To add insult to injury, he called the police on me and I had to go to court for slapping him (even though every officer understood and said he deserved it). I thought it was the end of my world. By the time 1999 ended, my stbxH had left our business, our home, our family and moved out of state to be with his OW…and I welcomed the new millennium alone.

    But you know, God is funny. I sometimes think He may have a sense of humor closer to mine! I lost everything that I thought defined “me”…who I was…in a matter of days. But by being put through the fire, God was able to purify me until I reflected His image…and then reform me into what HE wanted me to be! So even though I completely lost my former “shape” I was remolded and brought back to His service. Being alone was scary and, in ways, free and fun. I took care of my children and served God and didn’t have to worry about the earthly cares of having a spouse–and yet I really enjoy sharing my life with someone and often told God how much I hoped He would someday bring someone into my life.

    After several years of being divorced, I tried to “help” God by going to singles events or trying online dating matching places. Note to self: DO NOT TRY TO HELP GOD (He does not need my help). That didn’t end well! LOL So I took my hands off and said, “Okay God–I’ll just obey you, and you do what YOU want”…and you know what He did? He sent me a husband on the last place on earth I’d ever think to look. On a forum about infidelity!!

    When my exH left me, I joined a forum to help me get through it, figure out what happened, etc. and after my life got more settled, I stayed to learn more and more and more, and I stayed to help other people who came after me (sort of to “pay it forward”). Even though I was divorced and completely single, my rule was to only help other ladies because otherwise the temptation might be just too great. So there I was ministering away…and there was this other fella on the same forum also writing away to the men. Now I knew of his existence but didn’t really think anything of it, to be honest, because… well I just didn’t! 😛 Anyway, I am a nightowl by nature, and tend to sleep later and be awake later. I wrote to a lot of people who were in torment and couldn’t sleep late at night… so it was toughish. And one night I was awake and this guy on the forum was also awake. His wife had pretty much done what my husband did…and he was single dad to his 3 kids where I was single mom to my 2. For FOREVER we would write, joke, do little word plays…I enjoyed his wit and his intelligence shown through in his writing! I really admired him and thought he was just the neatest person…but I didn’t think “those kind of thoughts” about him until one day he told me how he felt! The more I thought about it, the more I realized I loved and cared about and valued him too and I just hadn’t seen it (out of practice maybe?).

    From that point on, the miracles continued and so did evidences of God’s sense of humor. I had to move again–across the country even further west! If I move any further west I’ll fall into the ocean! LOL I got to be with the love of my life, but in moving I lost all my possessions except for a very few–then again God has taught me very clearly that what I used to consider “my possessions” are really items He has loaned me for that day to use, and He may well decide tonight that He needs them all back. No worries–I have Him and He 100% takes care of me! He even sent me a husband when I thought no one would want me: a short, somewhat plumpish, middle-aged soccer mom. Apparently God, in His wisdom, made a tall, somewhat plumpish, middle-aged godly man for me who was LOOKING for a soccer-mom type 😀

    After two years we were married and on our honeymoon the sense of humor continued. Our first night together as man and wife we were going to go to a KOA and do some rustic camping–but we arrived and the office was closed. We had no way to unlock our cabin!! Poor Dear Hubby almost DIED–but we traveled just a little further down the road and found the *cutest* mom-and-pop motel right on the beach for the same price…and the whole place was retro 50’s and 60’s decor! It could NOT have been more perfect. Then on our honeymoon we got lost: the sun was setting, it was late, and we were hungry…and there was no one and nothing in site. Finally we cleared a ridge, went around one last curve, and what was in front of us? A restaurant–Out in the middle of nowhere! That’s not all though…oh no! It was a gourmet seafood restaurant overlooking the ocean and the prices were decent! We would have been happy with a McDonald’s, but on our honeymoon, having NO IDEA where we were, we dined on fresh seafood caught that morning, prepared by a classically trained chef…at sunset. It just doesn’t get more romantic than that!! AWESOME!!!

    Life is funny that way. It sends me adventures. God laughs with me. And now we’ve been married almost ten years, all our children are grown and moved out–yes all SEVEN of them–and we are going through those menopause/change of life times. See? It has to be a sense of humor to finally have the house to ourselves and now our sex drive is waning…but it’s not…but it is. LOL That’s my story–I’m sticking to it

  7. Vanessa ruiz Díaz says:

    I have fallen in adultery. And as my husband can not forgive me we are separated for a year. And he says that never will forgive. I returned to the Lord the last six months and have been praying every day for the restoration of our marriage. Please tell me if there is hope for us. Because it seems that all is wrong. Sorry my English. Thank you

    1. Jason says:

      Vanessa, my heart aches for you and this situation. Both I and my dear wife know the pain you feel. I sure wish I could get a chance to speak with your husband. I’d tell him that it’s worth it to push through the pain and learn how to forgive – because the marriage that CAN BE is so much better than anything he’s ever known. Please keep your heart humble, stay before God with your request for reconciliation. Wait upon Him, and pray for your husband to soften his heart. It certainly CAN happen.

      And… if the Lord opens the door for that conversation, send your husband my way. I’d love to tell him he can have a wonderful marriage, made completely new by our Savior!

  8. Mine is a little long, so I’ll leave a link to it. Hope that’s okay…

    http://timewarpwife.com/?p=821
    Darlene Schacht recently posted…Baked Ham and Cheese Sliders with Poppyseed DressingMy Profile

    1. Jason says:

      Thank you so much for dropping by, Darlene! And I pray that your story brings hope to many broken marriages. Thank you for your ministry to women & marriages!

  9. Kate says:

    Things seemed really odd last summer. One day in particular stands out. I asked to use his phone and he immediately freaked and left the house. I asked if something was going on, and he made me feel like I was being jealous for no reason. A month later, he confessed to me that he had betrayed me and out marriage. I was crushed. I felt like I had died, all my happiness had been stolen. I was blind-sided. He is not the kind of person you’d ever expect to do this. However, my first instinct was to fix this, not divorce. Divorce would have been easy. This was not, by any means. However, I see God working in both of us in ways I had never imagined. Without God, I would not have had the strength to push through all the emotions I had. I do believe that our marriage will be stronger. It upsets me that it took that act of infidelity to do so, but I trust that God has a big plan for the both of us.

    1. Jason says:

      May God continue to bless you and your husband as you work through the difficult stuff. We know this is not easy, and many walk away when faced with these struggles. But I can assure you that, IF you can push through all the hurt, sorrow & pain… wonderful blessings wait for you on the far side. Your marriage has the potential to become something truly awe-inspiring. Keep at it!

  10. Kate says:

    I continue to struggle, still constantly worrying if things are going to change. Affairs are everywhere. I hear about them, see them on TV, every day…I’m always reminded of the hurt I felt the day he told me. I know he is sorry, he’s repented, I believe in him growing towards being a godly man. I am still hurting. What advice do you have for moving past the hurt and embracing the future? I understand that this will take a while to move through, and some days are better than others. This hurt, though…yikes, it sure can break you at times.

    1. Jason says:

      Hi Kate, you have to start reaching forward… just as Paul wrote in Philippians 3:13-14: “Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” If your husband has repented, and is demonstrating his total willingness to do what it takes to rebuild trust with you, then look forward. Every time one of those “movies” starts to play in your head, it’s up to you to shut it down as quickly as possible. I can tell you that they’ll probably never go completely away, but over time they will fade, fade down into blurry grayness. I’d really like to suggest that you read our post called “Rebuilding Trust“, and when you’re done with that, memorize Isaiah 43:18-19. Recall that verse ANY time the devil tries to remind you of that old history. Get back to us and let us know how you’re doing soon.

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