The Path of Intimacy: Your Guide to a Marriage Filled with Passion and Connection
Author: Scott Means
I’ve never done a book review before, so please forgive me if I seem to be “shooting from the hip.” I assure you that I most definitely am! Please stay with me all the way to the end, because someone’s going to win a free copy of this book, and you’ll want to know how to be entered in the drawing.
Scott Means is a founding member of the blogging group that Tiffani and I belong to, which is how we came to be acquainted with his ministry. A few years back we had the pleasure of sharing a meal with Scott and his wife Jenni while we were in their hometown at a Pastor’s Conference. We found them to be a very nice couple who genuinely care for each other, and have a great burden for marriages.
As of today (January 30th, 2018), Scott has released his new book called “The Path of Intimacy: Your Guide to a Marriage Filled with Passion and Connection”. I read an advance copy this past weekend, and it is my pleasure to share my thoughts with you here.
If really thick books aren’t your thing, then you should find this one a joy to read. The book is 11 chapters, and the chapters themselves are portioned out in easy bite-sized pieces. I read at a leisurely pace with a couple of breaks, and finished the book over a space of about 3 hours.
Scott’s introduction lays a good foundation for the follow-up chapters. He talks about the fact that intimacy in our marriage is “either growing or dying”, but rarely standing still. The husband and wife are either actively working toward each other, or away from each other. Thus, there are two paths we can take – the Path of Intimacy, or the Path of Separation.
Chapter One asks the question: “What is the most important goal of your marriage?” Scott also covers the ins and outs of what intimacy IS, and what it is NOT. Without giving away the story, I was very glad to find that Scott and I agree… “intimacy” is NOT a fancy word for “sex!” The word encapsulates so much more! My own marriage took a turn in the right direction when I finally came to this realization several years ago.
In Chapter Two, Scott discusses what it means to be “fully known”, “completely loved”, “without shame”, and “grace filled.”
Some high points that really jumped out at me over the next few chapters were…
- Seven lies many people believe about intimacy in marriage.
- Husband and wife ARE “one”, it’s not something we have to work to attain.
- “Score keeping” within marriage is an intimacy-killing exercise.
- “Oneness” does not mean we are indistinguishable from each other.
- Why intimacy matters the most.
- Saving up enough energy to offer my spouse the best of me – not the leftovers.
Chapters 6 and 7 go nicely together… “Avoiding On-Ramps to the Path of Separation”, and “Staying on the Path of Intimacy.” Both sections are fleshed out beautifully with practical information from which we can all glean something good. One especially noteworthy thing I found in Chapter 7 is where Scott points out of the fallacy of the classic “50/50” idea in marriage. I wholeheartedly agree!
Chapter 8 brings out the concept of “trail markers” – identifiable markers that will help you keep your marriage on the correct path. Here you will find many constructive ideas for tangible things you can do to improve intimacy between you and your spouse.
Through Chapters 9 and 10, Scott examines “grace” and “watchfulness” – which he calls “the two most important tools for navigating the Path of Intimacy.” Grace is defined as “unmerited favor, mercy, and kindness.” If you think about it, Christ’s gift of salvation to us is ALL of those things. Jesus is asking us to give grace to our spouse, as He Himself has already given grace to us. The meaning of “watchfulness” is being continually aware of all the goings-on in and around our marriage. Keeping a finger on the pulse of our intimacy both with our spouse AND with our Lord is a good thing. Scott offers some good introspective questions here to help us gauge the health of our relationship.
Scott’s final chapter offers a short wrap-up, and a challenge to the reader to get off the Path of Separation, and onto the Path of Intimacy.
I found this to be an excellent book. Short, to-the-point, and yet filled with intimacy-boosting ideas and concepts. I highly encourage you to pickup your copy today. I KNOW this offering will bless you!
May your marriage be wrapped in the peace of Christ!
GIVE-AWAY: Scott Means has graciously offered to give away a free copy of his book to one winner on this blog – so here’s how it’s going to work… Anyone who comments below will have their email address entered into the drawing. In recognition of Valentine’s Day, I will use an online random name selector to choose one winner on February 14th, 2018. That’s just over two weeks from today. I will email the winner personally and also copy Scott. He will send the gift email to the winner himself.
DISCLAIMER: Although I did receive a free advance copy of the book (“The Path of Intimacy: Your Guide to a Marriage Filled with Passion and Connection”), I was not paid for this review, nor was any request for a “positive” or “complimentary” review given by the author.