I know it’s been a little while since our last post, but today I am honored to present a guest post written by a personal friend on her 18th anniversary – yesterday, July 21, 2014. Tiffani and I have known David and Terry for a number of years, and I’ve even had the privilege of making some music in the past with David – who is skilled on a number of instruments. Please be blessed today by reading Terry’s open letter. This past year has held a number of SERIOUS trials for the Schulmans. God has truly done a work in their midst!
I just LOVE seeing God work miracles in marriages the way He has done in theirs!
A PERSPECTIVE ON MARRIAGE FROM THE NOT-SO-BETTER HALF
(Updated & Reposted 3/18/2016)
Today marks our 18th Wedding Anniversary. If I described in detail what God has done in the last few years of our marriage, you’d need an oil to recover from the “shock and awe”. (Oh, and hey, I can help you with that! ;))
Some of you know the details, but in short, David and I literally had the carpet pulled out from under us a while back.
I had lost a good friend to cancer, my health was completely stripped away, we learned the incredibly hard lesson of who our true friends were in face of chronic illness, financial strain, and a marriage that had completely fallen apart with 3 kids struggling to make sense of what had happened to our family.
It was one of the loneliest times in my entire life. (In OUR entire lives!) I can’t even describe to you the ache this left my heart, especially as a mother. Month after month after MONTH of wondering where God was…where my friends were…and what in the world happened to my faith?!
The only words I could even mutter at the time was “Lord, PLEASE redeem the time.” And…”I believe, help my unbelief.”
After the shock that we were even having issues because we had tried so hard to hide it, we both had many friends tell us we’d be happier with a divorce. Many twists of Scripture validating our “rights”. Many thinking we were crazy to think this could ever be repairable…But amazingly, in His infinite wisdom, God laid on both our hearts separately and at the very same time, the simple word, “Abide”.
I’ll never forget the afternoon we had discovered this. We were barely speaking and yet, it came up in conversation—
Abide…even when I couldn’t bear to look at my husband, much less speak to Him.
Abide….even when my closest friends had forsaken me.
Abide…even when my health looked like I would never be able to get out of bed.
Abide…even when it looked impossible to pay all the medical bills and debt.
Abide…even when my flesh wanted to run.
I don’t believe in the theology of “God wants us to be happy all the time”. I used to…but I now think He uses trials to perfect our faith, draw us closer to Him, and more importantly, DIE to ourselves.
I gotta say, it’s hard as heck to choose to “Abide” when everything inside you wants to run away. So many days…so many nights of thinking it’d be a lot easier to give up. But, as time went on, God began to change both our hearts…the conscious choice on both our parts to press in and abide, has blessed us more than words could ever say. He used my sickness to force us to have to rely on each other. We had no choice!
It literally brings me to tears when I think about how I had spent so many nights weeping and begging God to change my heart. To change my health. My marriage. My kids’ hearts. Our finances…..and yet, amazingly, He did it in one fell swoop. He used the oils in so many ways to improve my health. He also healed my marriage and our finances. Only God can move mountains like those.
So, the next time you feel like God can’t fix your situation? …Abide.
If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. John 15:7
Happy Anniversary, David. I love you.
~Terry Schulman – July 21, 2014
Oils Well That Ends Well, L.L.C.